He flipped through the channels, looking for something to watch. He was fond of home improvement shows, but this time he wanted something different. They were sitting together at home tonight, so he wanted something ‘they’ liked rather than something ‘he’ liked. He wanted everything to go well.
She came in the room, looking great as usual. Her hair was long and dark, her skin creamy white. Her eyes were captivating. She smiled at him and sat down beside him.
“I was thinking American Idol tonight. What do you think?”
“That’s fine, or Antiques Roadshow. I wonder sometimes if I’ll see anything I recognize.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing.” She smiled and gave him a quick peck. He hugged her tightly, and they watched. Someone sang badly, and someone sang well, and then there was a break. It was the usual show. He could see why Idol was tanking lately.
He felt a sharp pain in his neck.
“Ouch! What was that?”
“Oh, sorry. It’s my necklace. I’ll take it off. It has this setting and… sorry, really.”
“That’s okay. Come here, you!” He gave her a large kiss, but something wasn’t right with it. It was like one of those 1940s romantic comedy movie kisses – 30 seconds with no passion or tongue. He thought it could just be first date nervousness.
They went back to the horrible musical competition show already in progress. It was amazing sometimes how what ‘he’ liked was what he liked, but what ‘she’ liked and what ‘they’ liked were often identical – even on a first date. At least he was comfortable, leaning back against her, her arms around his chest, her hot breath on his neck, her-“
“Ouch! That hurts! Did you take off the neckla- OH MY GOD, what the hell? Are you kidding me? You’re a fucking vampire? Fuck.”
“I’m sorry! I thought we… It’s not what you think! You’re just so… You’re the Unbreakable One. You are the pinnacle of all men everywhere!”
“I can’t believe this. You’re such a bitch. Get out. Just get out.”
“Michael, I… Please? Can we just watch this sh-“
She stood up and looked at him pleadingly, but he just looked away, shaking his head. He simply pointed at the door, never once returning her gaze. She walked out, a single red tear running down her cheek, and shut the door behind her.
Michael turned the channel to Design Closet Challenge. Fuck her, this was his house. He was so tired of all the werewolves and vampires and liches and witches and bitches! All trying to get in his soul’s pants, just because he was the Unbreakable One. Why couldn’t he just meet a nice girl and settle down? Were there any nice girls left? Even one? Maybe that Elvira who worked down at the coffee shop. She looked really cute.