Categories
Prose

The Candle Flickers

A throttle to slow down and reverse, backing out of dead ends and alleyways, one way streets and cul-de-sacs. Typo? Negative. This sentence had the subject it needed, which is this sentence. Another sentence, the longest one yet, was soon to come to an end.

Sometimes love takes a while. A lifetime, or five minutes. Sometimes both. We had a false start, where our broken pieces stuck each other. We had to adjust and twist and fix ourselves a little bit, studying us to see how they could fit.

You study my depths so you can dive in them, exploring my darkest secrets. You touch my insides fearlessly, as your skin touches mine. Your eyes light up and I feel your power on my skin. The autumn leaves blow around us, cloaking us in shameless carnality. We are soaking wet, having splashed through that fucking water on our way to forever.

I tiptoe across your skin, leaving nothing but blue electric prints on your thighs and brilliant red marks crackling on your backside. I glide across your curves, taking the tight turns recklessly and risking crashing into you with abandon. Your lips are an open invitation to pleasure, which I willingly accept. My gift to you is sensuously thoughtful, the kind that keeps on giving. I keep on giving it to you, and you accept it eagerly and quickly. You bare your throat to me, asking me to leave a mark. You’ve left an impression on my everything.

We are the scholars teaching each other about life and love, and we always finish our lessons with high marks. Your course for me is hard, but I’m up to the task. I make you stay after, keeping you for private lessons. We realize the lessons we’ve already learned, and eagerly await new experiences. We profess our undying love, and learn each other’s bodies instead.

Categories
Prose

Destiny And Honey

You straddle my feelings, not sure if you want to tip me to anger or sorrow, but passion and brambles are in my eyes. What are feelings, anyway, but the too-hot emotions that boil over and spill out onto your thighs? My sleepy eyes stay closed against your brilliance and honey. Coffee smells so good, but not as good as your jasmine and ocean breezes.

The battle between good and sleep continues in my mind, but you somehow champion delicious reasons to awaken. You always do. I open the vaults that contain my longing gaze, and show you my forever.

Categories
Poetry

Gardens And Your Body, Juxtaposed

The moon was new like our love
It was a drone summer
Gardens properly trimmed and sculpted
Growing next to a radiant pool
From which we both emerged
You lay down beside me
I touched the bottoms of your feet
Gliding up your Achilles’
Worshipping your golden calves
Orchids and Asiatic lilies grew quietly
I traced an imaginary stocking hemline
Up the backs of your thighs
A tiny breath escaped your lips
The topiary mimicked the rounded curves of your posterior
Birds sang about them both
I brought my lips to the small of your back
(They were jealous of my hands, you see)
You purred, and all avian life paused for a moment
How restless your skin
As wind moved leaves, and your hair
How the sun glinted off the water
And your golden skin
The light must have gotten in my eyes
I closed them, and my lips found their way
To your glorious throat
My hands took different paths
Examining crevices and corners
You moved your hair
I obliged willingly, kissing you just there, and there, and there
No sound but the waves
No one watches our careful exploration
No witnesses to our crimes of passion

Categories
Poetry

The Dance

One moves first
The other responds
It doesn’t matter

One says a word
The other a thought
It never crosses their minds

It was never confused
Never two halves of a whole
Never two lies

It hasn’t been a pause
Come together
And separate

Each is confident
In his own right
In her own way
The words flow across the page
He was sure
She was sure
They were uncertain
Of the other’s feel
Of exposing heart
Openly guarded
Secretly exposed

They move closer
Across the miles
Making changes to soul

Traveling so far
Across the sky
Delivering gifts of words

Shedding the strangeness
Shaping something
Totally undefined

Did he go too far
Did she go too far
Cautiously they begin

Each is troubled
By his own past
By her own demons
The passion flows across the page
He was dark
She was light
They became comfortable
With the empathy
With the steps and the song
With the movement and rhythm
Surprisingly full of grace

Now he finished her thoughts
Now she knew his mind
Now they started the dance

Moving this way and that
Steps so perfectly placed
While the music played on

Subtle changes in time
Shifts in their subtle steps
To no one’s surprise

Now a spin towards love
Now a step from their fears
Dancing closer with time

Each is tentatively happy
He can’t let himself go
She can’t let herself go
What will happen when the music stops
Will there be melancholy
Will there be sadness and pain
They had come to a point
He expected it
The shoulder tap
The cutting in
The spinning away

Categories
Philosophy Prose

Perfect Moments In Memory Glass

This is about love.

I watched this movie on Netflix called The Map of Tiny Perfect Things, and it was amazing. Hit me right in the feels. At the end, it was talking about perfect moments, and I realized that I wrote a poem about perfect moments for my middle brother’s wedding – read it during the ceremony, in fact. It’s this:

Eternal Matrimony

I don’t care that you’re running
I know you’re not running away
I don’t mind the mountains you climb
I know you’re not just with me ‘because I’m there’
I don’t mind if you look at another
I know you’re thinking of me
I don’t worry when you’re gone
I know you walk beside me
I don’t care that I may never get everything I want
You are all I need
I’m not upset by the raging river of differences between us
The stepping stones of perfect moments bring me to you
I don’t worry about your past
It brought you to me, and us to this perfect moment
And from this perfect moment to the next
Though our lips part, still we kiss
Though our hands let go, still we touch
Though our eyes close, still we see one another
Though our voices are raised, still we whisper
Of perfect moments and perfect love

In the middle of the movie somewhere, she said she’d only be friends. He wanted more. Unrequited love. And I realized that the moment before it became manifest, the love he felt – the love I feel for someone – is a perfect one. It’s like love is a baseball that can be thrown around and used to play fun games, but the minute it’s unrequited it is like a baseball signed by a World Series winning team. Sure, you worship it, cherish it, look at it from every facet, but you never touch it again, for fear of diminishing its value.

Some perfect moments need to be felt by feeling the feeling of remembering the perfect moment, rather than feeling the moment itself. I’m afraid that reliving the moment itself will eventually make that moment like any moment, one of many, a drop in the ocean, a raindrop in the sky.

A raindrop falling from the vast sky into the vast ocean.

Instead of that one raindrop that causes me and the person I love to smile and laugh and run like crazy for shelter from the storm that just started, and then watching it and listening to each drop, none of them like that first one.

Sometimes an entire person is encased in memory-glass. You can’t go back, you know. You can only remember.

Categories
Poetry Prose

Mysterious Person Singular

Your eyes, and you are so unsure. You, singular.
We’re unsure.
I’m uncertain of any given moment, any given time, any given motive or meaning. But I hope this helps.

When I fly, and the drink cart comes around, I don’t ask for water, or carbonated beverages. I always ask for tomato juice. The reason is that when you ask for a carbonated beverage or water, they pour you half a can over ice, and save the rest for the next person. But people rarely order tomato juice. When I order that, they always give me the whole can. It could spoil if they risk keeping it, and no one orders it. I get it all to myself.

You are that. You, mysterious person singular. Maybe no one else wants you, or asks about you. But I do. I want all of you. I want to experience every bit of you, all I can, before you disappear, and you will. Before someone or something takes you away, and they will. I want to be up in the clouds, enjoying you, knowing you, knowing that you’re all mine for that given moment, that given time, no motive, perhaps no meaning other than mutual enjoyment.

I want to be the only one who holds you.

Categories
Lyrics Poetry

Missing Everything

A fever
Taking you out so you don’t have it all
Together
Making out like you still want it all
I’m leaving
You’re taking too long to make up your mind
Believe it
Believe it

When did it happen?
Is it happening now?
Can I make you forget it was you?
Is it something I caused?
Is it something I did?
Is it something I could hold you through?
How many times have you thought about this?
Should I try to make you change your mind?
How many lines do I write about this?
Should I be the one to cry this time?

I drop my eyes and look away
Cause I can’t think of anything to say
I close my eyes and just listen
Try to remember what it is about you I’m missing
Everything

Confusing
I’ll figure me out so you don’t have to guess
About me
Scratching your head because I’m such a mess
A feeling
You’re not gonna believe what I said this time
Believe it
Believe it

When did it happen?
Is it happening now?
Can I make you forget it was you?
Is it something I caused?
Is it something I did?
Is it something I could hold you through?
How many times have you thought about this?
Should I try to make you change your mind?
How many lines do I write about this?
Should I be the one to cry this time?

I drop my eyes and look away
Cause I couldn’t think of anything to say
I close my eyes and just listen
Try to remember what it is about you I’m missing
Everything

Categories
Poetry

Guru Voodoo

In dreams, love is real
The gossamer threads catch and hold
Spun sugar, like candyfloss
Sweeter and better
In reality, love is a twisted mountain path
Winding upward
With no quest
And no idea of who or what
Awaits at the top

Categories
Lyrics Poetry

Help Me Hide The Bodies

I heard around town that my sanity had died
Not yours, just mine, the way I heard it
Where did I get the idea that I could ever finish it?
I took it from somebody who took it from somebody who took it from somebody else

I feel good sometimes
When I say ‘jump’ you say too busy or too tired
Are you the one, or just someone
I dig tonight

I heard around town that my spirit had died
I was pushing it too hard and it finally gave up
Where did I get the idea – well it was mine but considering
I got it from inside me, got it from inside me, got it from deep inside

I feel good sometimes
When I say ‘jump’ you say too busy or too tired
Are you the one, or just someone
I dig tonight

I heard it through the grapevine that my love had died
Every kiss begins with “hey, what are you doing?”
Where did I get the idea that you would ever be with me?
I misread the signs, misread the signs, misunderstood your sighs

I thought I knew what I wanted
At least what I wanted tonight
I’m a five minute phoenix
Dying and coming back to life

Help me

I feel good sometimes
When I say ‘jump’ you say too busy or too tired
Are you the one, or just someone
I dig tonight

Categories
Poetry

Tides Tied Up

You flow in and out
Like waves on the beach
Violently calm
Shaking, I relax
Your waves erase my messages
Lovingly drawn in the sand
Leaving nothing but smooth silence
Dreams crashing at my feet