She Calls Me Home

She woke up and immediately knew she was alone. Sensing his absence from their plush bed was probably the catalyst. She threw on a silk robe and went on a hunt for him through the house they had built together.

She felt him deeply. Their connection had always been strong, but lately it had felt intense, as though they experienced the same senses with the same body. As though they were one. She felt a deep sadness, which concerned her.

She saw him through the glass door of his office, holding papers and glancing at his laptop, sobbing. She watched him, admiring his shoulders and his strength, but appreciating his vulnerability.

She silently opened the door, closing it behind her, and walked quietly around his desk to him. She took the papers out of his hands, sat in his lap facing him, and just held him dearly. He didn’t say a word. He just allowed her to be close, and put his arms around her, closing his eyes.

“Tell me.”

“I had a terrible dream. You were gone, and I couldn’t find you. You were lost to me, and I had to go back to the beginning, our beginning. I came down here half-asleep to read and experience how we began. To remember…”

“I’m right here. I’m never going anywhere.”

“I know, but… you had not simply left. You were dead. I couldn’t stand the thought of being without you. I had to feel all of you again, to bring you back. I can’t lose you.”

“It seems to have worked. Here I am, and I won’t ever leave you.”

She held him close, kissing his forehead and lips, and he visibly relaxed, still sobbing. He held her tighter than she had ever known, relaxing in tranquil bliss.

He had her, and she gave him happiness. He thought of all the times they had shared, all the experiences, and smiled. Like a switch that had been flipped, he suddenly became exquisitely aware of the feel of her skin on his, of their glowing love for one another, the mysterious way time flew by and stopped when they were together.

“I love you.” He was moved by her beauty, her long hair, her deep eyes that captivated him, her delicious curves beneath the silk. He was also moved by her devotion to him, and the total happiness and contentment he felt when he was with her. She had changed his life in so many ways.

“I love you, too.” He stood up with her still in his arms, and headed upstairs back to bed. She wouldn’t let him feel this sadness ever again. How could he? She was everything, and she was right here.

The robe fluttered to the floor…


Unraveling You

Sitting alone
In the room with the view
Listening to the rain come down
Unraveling you
I can feel my heart beat slowly
It won’t always beat strong
But when it does it’s because
I thought of something
We both called home

Something to hide when you see his name
On your mobile screen
A wink and I ask if you’re ashamed
Of technology
We both know what’s going on
I’ll be okay here
You can get up and leave
I’ll be looking out for myself
So don’t look back at me

We could have had everything
And in a way I do
I just didn’t know I’d have it all
Without any of you

Sitting alone
In that room with the view
Feeling the pain subside
Unraveling you
I can feel my heart beat steady
I don’t think it will be long
But when it comes it’s because
I thought of something
I created alone

Something to have and someone to hold
When you’re away from me
I think I asked you if I’m to blame
Tried to give an apology
We both know it’s going wrong
You can stay here
You can pack up and leave
(Doesn’t matter)
I’ll be taking pieces of you
Out of pieces of me

We could have had everything
And in a way I do
I just didn’t know I’d have it all
Without any of you


My Favorite Season Is Falling In Love

I fell and tripped and caught myself, and caught myself staring, and stared back at the past, and stared at you until you looked back, wondering why I looked so intently. Intensely, as if a car crash had become a field of flowers that I couldn’t see enough of.

You danced on the edge of my reality as the vaguely sweet smell of the season of you filled the air. I ordered you, sipped your delicious flavors, savored your scintillating aromas, drank you in, and felt your warmth. My name was on your cup, along with exactly what I wanted.

Could I have chosen more wisely? I didn’t trust myself. I hadn’t become good at the other person, only myself. I relied on you to be good at us until I could practice. You showed me a thing or two. You taught me a few tricks and tips. I shared with you everything I knew, but you were all I knew when you were around.

My watch stopped. I stopped watching for the next one and the next one. This is where I wanted to be. You were where I wanted to be. You were the scenery and the journey and the cabin on the lake. You were the fireplace and the snowflakes on my tongue. You were home.

When I was a child, I’d fall asleep here, and wake up there. It was always my favorite trick, until you came along and made my walls disappear.


In Wonder

I wonder sometimes if happiness is really just an illusion, elusive and prone to confusion, buried deep within the psyche, and if I don’t like it, let’s get Mikey.

I wonder sometimes if tranquility is simply beyond my ability, well outside my grasp, something I have to ask for but never receive, the concept of its existence difficult to believe.

I wonder sometimes if peace is really just spelled wrong, and pieces of my life feel wrong and smell wrong, somewhere around me but completely undetected, as though the clues are there but I’m the undetective.

I wonder sometimes if it’s possible to be stronger, if the things that don’t kill me actually will, they just take a bit longer, if writing this all down will make everything clearer or less, if cleanliness is next to godliness but I am just a mess.

Poetry Prose

Mysterious Person Singular

Your eyes, and you are so unsure. You, singular.
We’re unsure.
I’m uncertain of any given moment, any given time, any given motive or meaning. But I hope this helps.

When I fly, and the drink cart comes around, I don’t ask for water, or carbonated beverages. I always ask for tomato juice. The reason is that when you ask for a carbonated beverage or water, they pour you half a can over ice, and save the rest for the next person. But people rarely order tomato juice. When I order that, they always give me the whole can. It could spoil if they risk keeping it, and no one orders it. I get it all to myself.

You are that. You, mysterious person singular. Maybe no one else wants you, or asks about you. But I do. I want all of you. I want to experience every bit of you, all I can, before you disappear, and you will. Before someone or something takes you away, and they will. I want to be up in the clouds, enjoying you, knowing you, knowing that you’re all mine for that given moment, that given time, no motive, perhaps no meaning other than mutual enjoyment.

I want to be the only one who holds you.